Oh the Sanctity of Marriage
auf deutsch:
auf deutsch:
What a convenient little chart I’ve found.
Lingerie, zoophiles, necrophiles, cars, sweaters, and a lot of stuff that I’ve never even heard of. I love that furries, toonies and plushies are all furverts. I find that hilarious.
WARNING: Satan is Using Olympics Volleyball to Get Young Boys to Masturbate!
The Devil is using Olympics volleyball to lure young men into shedding their clothes, flopping around and falling off off their beds with him into the pit of iniquity. Lucifer is turning innocent afternoon gatherings of imprecatory prayer into frenzied young Masturbating Baptist Boys’ Clubs!”
When Mrs. Huxton put her ear to the door, she told Pastor that she “heard not the sacred sounds of scripture readings accompanied by soft sweet whispers to our Heavenly Father, but rather a noisy television set spewing Chinese gibberish, tuned to an Olympic volleyball match.” When she listened closer, she heard the slapping sounds of flesh-on-flesh accompanied by the grunts and moans of little Christian boys!
When she opened the door, Mrs. Huxton reported seeing a pile naked young men, including her own son. “Timothy’s head was peeking out from under the pimpled rump of his prayer leader,” she said. “They were all on the bedroom floor covered in sweat, their stiffened purple tallywhackers pointing in every direction.” Before Mrs. Huxton fainted in the doorway, she noticed the Tivo paused on the scantily clad knee of an Olympic volleyball player from the corner of her tearing eye.
This is just too funny. Be scared of everything people. That will save you.
You can read the rest of this stupid article
I went out and got myself some designer pubic hair.And he laughed.
Why was I so certain that he would love this new look? Convinced that I had to do it, even? I fell victim to pop-culture peer pressure, and I’m not the only one.
Ever since Pam Anderson bared all in Playboy, some sick force has slowly been pushing this over-bronzed, impossibly proportioned, tweezed, hairless ideal on women. And, ladies, we’ve been suckered in to it!
A friend of mine talks about Brazilians like they’re no big deal: “Guys my age just expect it. They grew up with Playboy and the Spice Channel and Maxim. They think women just come hairless.”
This is a big deal. When did things get so out of hand? Just a few generations ago women weren’t shaving above their knees. Now we’re all-but-expected to wash, condition and exfoliate our pubic region, then obliterate all signs of hair life?
Read the whole thing at: http://www.alternet.org/sex/89996/
I bet that will be the only place to showcase that skill. Cute girl.
By Tristan Taormino from the Village Voice
Last week in Los Angeles, I produced a new sex-ed movie with porn star Penny Flame, all about how to get people off with your hands. I first shot Penny for the fourth edition of my reality series, Chemistry, and that’s when I saw her gifted mitts in action. In one scene, she started giving a handjob to a guy, and I was mesmerized. She used her hands in such creative ways, culminating in this technique where she stroked his shaft with one hand while using her other hand to work his head. She started out with a flat palm pressing and twisting against his head, then cupped her fingers and turned her wrist like she was juicing a lemon. Lying on his back, the male performer-who, I’m pretty sure, has had plenty of pairs of hands on his dick during his career-snapped his (other) head up and actually said, “Oh my God, what are you doing to me?” Penny just giggled and kept it up. He looked ready to explode.
Later, she put her fingers to work on performer Adrianna Nicole, with equally ecstatic results. In fact, they both had their hands all over each other, and it was quite a sight. Gone are the days of fake-looking girl-on-girl porno, when most starlets look disinterested or clueless (or even slightly scared) when faced with touching another woman; these chicks are fierce when it comes to fucking each other. When Penny’s fingers started moving against Adrianna’s muff, I thought the cameraman might have an epileptic seizure. Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in my head: Penny needs to share her dexterous skills with the rest of the world!
…
Hands are hot. Hands are versatile. Hands can rub you right and fill you up. Fingers can find the G-spot and the prostate better than anything else can. The trip from one pinky to the five-finger club can be a wild adventure. The next time you meet someone for the first time, and she (or he) extends a hand to you, think of the possibilities.
