http://positivejuice.com/2010/02/17/kink-fetish-bdsm-what-is-all-that-stuff-really-about-anyway/

Kink, fetish, BDSM… what is all that stuff really about, anyway?

Sure it has to do with the fun of role-playing, but much of the time it’s really about something way deeper than that: it’s about the power of healing, something that is so often so hard to get in touch with, especially where we need it most.

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As “dangerous” as BDSM sometimes sounds, it is actually so powerful and therapeutic because it must involve safety and trust, otherwise it won’t work! But you see, once you do assume complete trust and attention to safety, you become free to do and experience things you could not normally–such as putting yourself in pain. Thing is that, where there is pain in a safe context, no matter how sharp it is in a moment, there will soon be healing–and healing feels so good and soothing.

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The key throughout all this is that, because these activities are safe and consensual to start with, you get to own your own experience. So, for example, if you were sexually assaulted and/or have a fear of being forced, you can actually use “rape play” as a way to face that experience in an atmosphere of safety and trust. It’s like a fantasy, except it is real–but you can hit the stop button anytime. And facing down and owning a fear, especially an intimate one that isn’t easy to talk about, is one of the most healing things you can do for your soul.